Thirty-seven

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Chapter 63

╚═══*.·:·.★ ✦ ★･:･:*═══╝

“so what was that in the ice rink?” I hummed as Tommy and I walked along the aisles.

“why are you accusing me? you’re the one that—” he stopped himself.

“I’m just saying, I definitely made you more flustered” I shrugged,

“not true” he remarked.

“HOW was I more flustered!” I chastised,

“You stood in your spot for like 30 seconds!” Tommy whisper yelled.

“yeah because I wasn’t expecting it”

“So you where FLUSTERED” he retorted.

“I bet I could make you more flustered” I rolled my eyes,

“you wanna bet?” he tilted his head.

“yeah I do wanna bet!”

“ok fine” he crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out.

“Fine” I laughed as I mirrored his actions.

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“Ich werde dich ermorden” Niki explained to me slowly as we walked to the cottage.

“Ich—werde—dich—erm—orden?” I tried,

“perfect!” she high fived me,

“GUYS I can say “I will murder you” in German now!” I cheered to the group.

“congrats?” Alex gave me a weary look,

“Si ella comienza a hablarse alemana, corre” Iris informed Schlatt and Alex, who nodded.

The group strolled into the house; it was around 1 in the afternoon. We still had some time before we had to “Dress fancy” for dinner.

“wait—wilbur how do we dress fancy—we don’t have fancy outfits” I asked as him and I started pulling out all the food, the rest of the group consisted of Ranboo teaching them the chika dance.

“that’s what we will be doing this afternoon” Wilbur smirked,

“how fancy?” I interrogated, Wilbur looked both ways before leaning in and whispering to me,

“im making Tommy wear a Karl inspired fit” he giggled as I slapped a hand over my mouth.

“a Karl fit?” I whispered in shock,

“sweater with a collar underneath and all” he affirmed

“you Niki, and Iris will look for formal wear as well in a bit” He informed.

“so where are we eating then?” i quizzed,

“it’s a surprise!” Will booped my nose before starting to leave the kitchen with a bowl of crisps/chips.

“wait Wilbur, this may be a bad time but—” I sighed, “anything else on my parents?” I asked optimistically.

“Banks called this morning, and they’re still working on it,” he held up quotations, “I don’t exactly know what that means but I think its best we just—focus on the good?” he suggested,

“yeah I like that idea” I chuckled lightly before grabbing a bag of gummy worms and walking with him to the rest of the group.

“no you do the hand thing, and THEN the spin” Dream critiqued.

“ok dancer-dream” I scoffed, Ranboo held his mouth open and signaled for me to give him a gummy worm, I tossed one near him and he caught it graciously.

“oh you’re so poetic with the creative names” Dream said sarcastically at my remark.

“roses are red, violets are blue, if I had a brick I’d throw it at you” I flopped onto the couch.

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Ollie | @OllieMolly

Hey @Tommyinnit, did I look both ways when I crossed your mind?

↳ Tommy | @Tommyinnit

I swear if you’re taking this to twitter im going to strangle you

↳ Ollie | @Ollie

You can choke me like you hate me, but you love me

↳ Tommy | @Tommyinnit

This is the last chance you have.

↳ Ollie | @OllieMolly

Hey im looking for someone cute, have you by CHANCE looked in the mirror today?

↳ Tommy | @Tommyinnit

OK I SEE HOW IT IS

↳  Ollie | @OllieMolly

Am I time-traveler-Karl? Because I SEE you in my future.

↳ Tommy | @Tommyinnit

This is not ok.

↳ Ollie | @OllieMolly

it might not be ok, but it could be fine. Just like you.

↳ Tommy | @Tommyinnit

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME

↳ Ollie | @OllieMolly

Your love.

↳ Tommy | @Tommyinnit

I can’t give it to you since you already stole it.

↳ Ollie | @OllieMolly

WAIT WHAT YOURE NOT ALOUD TO DO THAT

↳ Tommy | @Tommyinnit

Am I ALOUD to be yours?

↳ Ranboo | @Ranboosaysstuff

Oh how the turns have tabled

↳ Ollie | @OllieMolly

RANBOO PLEASE HELP ME I NEED HELP

↳ Ranboo | @Ranboosaysstuff

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HELP

↳ Ollie | @OllieMolly

YOURE THE ONE THAT HAS A CHILD AND IS MARRIED

↳ Ranboo | @Ranboosaysstuff

OK I’LL COME OVER

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“why do you need me?” Ranboo asked as he came into the room, consisting of Me, Iris, Alex, and Schlatt. Everyone else was gathered in the kitchen hoarding the snacks.

“my flirtation devices are only amateur; I need a professional like you” i explained.

“why am I a professional?” he leaned against the wall.

“volleyball practice” I said nonchalantly, which made Iris snort.

“I—don’t know whether to walk away or laugh” Ranboo suppressed a smile.

“I need to make Tommy flustered” I continued,

“and out of all the people here—you ask me?” Ranboo points to himself.

“well technically I could get the whole group on it, but since you’re a professional—”

“Im not a professional!” Ranboo interjected,

“SO YOU’RE TELLING ME YOU PLAYED VOLLEYBALL AND ARENT A PROFESSIONAL FLIRT” I yelled, Iris was on the floor laughing.

“THIS—THIS ISNT FUNNY” Ranboo pointed at Iris,

“i—i—m—cry—crying” she said in between laughs on the floor,

“I’ll help you—but Schlatt has to help too” Ranboo inserted Schlatt into the situation.

“oh yeah he’s got the whole flirt thing going for him, Mr. eats cereal obnoxiously on facetime in hopes of getting her to like me” I mocked.

“I don’t like you” Schlatt said, eyes still glued to his phone.

“I’ve been getting that a lot lately” I sighed as Ranboo sat next to me.

“Twitters officially freaking out” I smiled,

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OllieInnit4ever | @Ollieinnit

IM IM IM SCREAMING I UH WHAT IS I DON’T IM SPEECHLESS

↳ jade | @jadebennet

Can confirm that she is screaming, rather loud, please someone calm her down, both our dad’s are at work, and im afraid to leave my room.

↳ ollieinnit4ever | @Ollieinnit

HAVE YOU—ARE YOU EVEN ON TWITTER RN? IM—MY VOICE IS GOING TO BE GONE SOON—BUT I—IM—UH

↳ Ollie | @OllieMolly

Someone give me pickup lines I need to win.

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“we should get going to dinner soon” Wilbur announced after another 45 minutes of the pickup line shenanigans.

“so are we meeting you guys at this so-called dinner place?” I asked skeptically.

“yeah, get dresses, and go” Wilbur said as a thumbs up before he pulled a confused Tommy through another room.

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“game plan?” I asked as Niki led Iris and I towards a dress shop.

“Ollie’s gonna be in a cool dress, Iris is going to be in a cool dress, and Im going to be in a cool dress” she smiled,

“makes perfect sense” I nodded.

“here we are” Niki opened the door, and I was instantly enveloped in the faint smell of perfume. I liked it though, it was welcoming.

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Chapter 63

╚═══*.·:·.★ ✦ ★･:･:*═══╝

a/n: ALL OUTFIT PICTURES ARE AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER SO DON’T FRET IM JUST REALLY BAD AT EXPLAINING CLOTHES

Iris, Niki, and I messed around in the shop for a little bit, trying on over-the-top dresses and twirling around. Eventually, we all settled upon wearing insanely cool blazers.

Niki made us wear our outfits on the walk to dinner, it being the middle of December, the sun was already setting.

“Iris do you have any pick-up lines?” I asked restlessly as we strolled through the town.

“since when do you think I pick up people” she scoffed,

“Niki?” I pleaded,

“sorry, can’t help you here” Niki held up her hands in surrender.

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Ollie | @OllieMolly

Gay for the suits.

↳ Iris | @eyeris

We’re so hot omg

↳ Niki | @Nihachu

Let’s all get married to each other wearing blazers

↳ ollie | @OllieMolly

Im in.

↳ Iris | @eyeris

Sign me up please.

↳ Niki | @Nihachu

Adding it to my calendar :D

↳ OllieInnit4ever | @Ollieinnit

They really threw gender roles out the window and im here for it

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“here we are!” Niki skipped to the door of the restaurant and opened it with glee.

“it smells fancy in here” Iris whispered,

“fancychamp” I replied as I glanced around the restaurant,

a/n: the restaurant from ratatouille 😩🙏

“there’s will!” Niki waved as she pulled us across the room.

“well don’t you look dashing” I said in a British accent as I sat down next to Tommy.

“as do you” Tommy grinned.

“birthday girl go brrr” Tubbo exclaimed,

“g’day mate” I returned changing my accent to Australian.

“im going to eat so much pasta” Ranboo scanned the menu as he looked at the variation of foods.

“are there glizzy’s here?” Alex joked, which made the group stifle loud laughter, for we were pretty rambunctious, and not used to the politeness of the restaurant.

“what about drugs?” Tubbo asked with crazed eyes.

“this place is so fancy they might as well give you holy water for the beverages” I looked around at the pristineness, my comment made the group crumble into giggles.

“we’ve been in here for like 30 seconds—” Ranboo covered his face with the menu to stop himself from bursting out with laughter.

“im going to vlog this” Schlatt pulled out his phone and set it in the middle of the table,

“I feel like this is a fever dream” I set my head in my hands as my body shook with laughter.

“are we all on acid right now?” Iris gasped,

“how would we be on acid and not know?” Ranboo turned to her,

“I don’t know sometimes you take acid on accident” she shrugged,

“did you take acid and not tell me?” Ranboo widened his eyes,

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT” she held up her hands in surrender,

“HOW DO YOU TAKE ACID ON ACCIDENT?” Wilbur whisper yelled,

“I DON’T KNOW—IT JUST HAPPENS” she refuted back in the same whisper tone; I was covering my mouth with my hands to stop from wheezing.

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Ollie | @OllieMolly

BREAKING NEWS: apparently it’s possible to take acid accidently

↳ Iris | @eyeris

Eye-

↳ Quackity | @Quackity4k

—ris

↳ Wilbur | @WilburSoot

I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW THAT’S POSSIBLE

↳ Ranboo | @Ranboosaysstuff

IM SO CONFUSED

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“I bet tommy had a vine account” I snickered,

“and why is that?” Tommy quizzed.

“you seem like the kid who would have a vine account in 2014” I exclaimed,

“well you seem like a kid who would have a vine account in 2014” he backtalked,

“yeah and im proud of it, I made the best vines” I bragged.

“wait so you’re telling me that there’s some baby OllieMolly vines out in the world? And we don’t know about it?” Schlatt speculated,

“nobody knows, I had like 2 followers” I smirked,

“im going to find those vines if it’s the last thing I do” Dream laughed.

“you can try, i don’t think there’s any possibility of any of you finding them, I can’t even remember my username” I doubted.

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Dream | @Dream

CALLING ALL OLLIE FANS CALLING ALL OLLIE FANS, OLLIEMOLLY HAS CONFIRMED SHE HAD A VINE ACCOUNT IN 2014, PLEASE FIND THE VALUABLE 6 SECOND VIDEOS.

↳ Ollie | @OllieMolly

ON THE MAIN?

↳ Dream | @Dream

DESPERATE TIMES CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES

↳ Techno | @Technothepig

I refuse to stand down.

↳ Ollie | @OllieMolly

I MENTION IT ONCE AND YOU GO ON A RAMPAGE

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“I would like a kids menu and some champagne” I smiled,

“Molly!” Tommy gasped dramatically,

“oh shut up stoner, plus I think we should get a kids menu for you” I patted him on the back empathetically.

“no we should not! But I wont pass down on the champagne” Tommy said lowly.

“who said you guys were getting champagne?” Techno skepticized.

“well we all are at least sixteen—” Tubbo pointed out,

“yeah you guys can all try it if you want” Wilbur shrugged nonchalantly,

“I just want to play tic-tac-toe on the kids menu” I giggled,

“you’re so smart!” Ranboo oohed,

“I was asked to join a mafia of course im smart” I bluffed,

“wait—what” Tommy widened his eyes,

“y’know my cool ass gang of kidnappers abducted me so I could join the internet mafia” I bit my lip and rubbed my chin,

“THE INTERNET MAFIA?” Wilbur whisper yelled

“did yall think they just kidnapped me for funsies?” I wheezed,

“am I aloud to laugh?” Schlatt suppressed a smile,

“yeah—sure you’re—aloud to laugh” I said in between giggles, and the entire group started tea-kettling,

“im glad you’ve transferred into covering your pain with comedy” Iris nodded,

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Chapter 65

╚═══*.·:·.★ ✦ ★･:･:*═══╝

Tw: consummation of alcohol

After Niki ordering for us in German, (Ranboo and I getting our drawing papers) we had searched random facts as we ate the fancy food.

“wait—you’re telling me you guys fall asleep in seven minutes?” I gasped,

“according to google, seven minutes is the average amount of time it takes to fall asleep” Techno stated,

“how is that humanly possible” Iris ran her fingers through her hair,

“uh—Spanish speakers you’re going to need to confirm this, esposa means wife, but also—handcuffs?” Wilbur widened his eyes,

“yeah…” Alex giggled as he trailed off.

“why?” Dream asked,

“it’s like a metaphor to marriage, you’re chained to your partner” Iris held up quotations,

“Every year approximately 2,500 left-handed people are killed by using object or machinery designed for right-handed people.” Wilbur read out loud, and we all slowly turned to Schlatt,

“oh” Schlatt held up his dominant hand (left) and frowned comically.

“don’t worry Schlatt, we’ll just make sure you go no where near objects or machinery designed for right-handed people.” I assured,

“Tubbo you’ll like this one!” Wilbur spoke, and Tubbo perked up, “bees can only smell with their knees” Wilbur oohed,

“WHAT” Tubbo gasped in delight, “THAT’S SO COOL” he awed.

────── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ──────

“YOU SHARE A BIRTHDAY WITH LAZARBEAM” Wilbur laughs in shock as we scrolled through famous birthdays.

“L” Tubbo snickers,

“WAIT A MINUTE—OLLIE SHARES A BIRTHDAY WITH VANESSA HUDJENS” Dream cheered,

“WOAH I DIDN’T KNOW THAT—IM SO COOL” I exclaim,

“so you BASICALLY share a birthday with Gabriella” Ranboo shrugged,

“basically” I affirm.

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“it tastes like almonds” Tubbo sips on the sparkly champagne.

“fruity” Ranboo says before downing the entire glass, making the entire table wheeze.

“RAN—” Iris takes the tall glass out of his hands as he blinks repeatedly.

“It’s not affecting me—I don’t think—” Ranboo shrugged,

“ALCOHOL DOSENT TAKE 10 SECONDS TO ABSORB INTO YOUR BODY’S SYSTEM” Iris whisper-warns as the group continues to laugh,

“according to google, the bubbles in this most celebratory of tipples really do get you drunk more quickly. Many people say that champagne bubbles go straight to their head, making them giggly and light-headed” Ranboo recited from his phone,

“are you giggly and lightheaded?” Iris asked warily,

“always” Ranboo giggled.

“aye if Ranboo can be a believer than I can too” I tipped my glass to him slightly before downing the champagne.

“call me Justin cause I’m a Belieber” Tommy does the same.

“I don’t know what you guys are talking about but oh well—” Tubbo mirrors our actions, and the rest of the group is either in shock or laughing.

“what—the—hell—” Clay sets his head on the table as his body shakes with laughter, Schlatt is clapping in proudness.

“this is why we can’t trust the children” Techno sighs,

“its one glass” I shrugged,

“screw it, let’s stop by the pub after this” Wilbur smiles,

“Birthday drinks!” Schlatt claps more,

“oh my god” Dream puts his head In his hands as he wheezes,

“Jesus take the wheel” Schlatt breathes out a laugh at the chaos.

────── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ──────

We walked along the streets of the small German town after leaving the restaurant, and Wilbur was leading us to the bar.

“ok before any of us drink any more, minors just don’t die, and well—no one should die—just I don’t want any of you blacking out in the middle of the street” Dream affirmed,

“yessir” I saluted and linked arms with Tommy.

“you’re right Iris, the champagne does make me lightheaded” Ranboo giggled,

“YOU HAD ONE GLASS” she facepalmed,

“I forgot how giggly Ranboo gets when he’s not sober” I smirked as we approached the pub.

“schier—ker—Feuer—stein?” I read a sign in the window,

“it’s a thing where you put snow in the beer, you’re supposed to drink it cold” Niki explained as we walked in, I was immediately welcomed by a fermented scent.

“does this place have unlimited bread sticks?” Tubbo smiles,

“this isn’t olive garden” Tommy rolls his eyes, as Wilbur instantly skips over to the bar.

────── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ──────

“I see that many people die because they deem that life is not worth living and I see others that, paradoxically, get themselves killed for the ideas, the illusions that gives them a reason to live. What can be a reason to live is at the same time an excellent reason to die.”

“huh?” Alex looks at me confused,

“that’s what the French part in “Achilles come down” means” I stated,

“what does that even mean?” Iris leaned against the wall as we waited.

“it’s an excerpt from this French book in the 40’s”

“Oui oui, mon ami, je m'appelle Lafayette, The Lancelot of the revolutionary set, I came from afar just to say Bonsoir, Tell the King Casse toi, Who's the best? C'est moi” Ranboo bobbed his head as he mumbled the lyrics.

“GANG, we have drinks” Wilbur and Schlatt walked over with a handful of bottles,

“don’t we need to brown-bag it or something..” I trailed off as he group waltzed out of the pub,

“not in Germany, it’s a custom to just walk around with beer” Niki shook her head.

“I love it here” Schlatt gleamed,

“im going to go live, Ranboo and Dream get out of the frame” I said out of the blue,

“you’re going live on your phone?” Tommy laughed,

“yeah so chat can see you in your outfit” I said plainly,

“they’re going to clip it and its going to be all over twitter and Pinterest!” Tommy whined,

“exactly!” I said as I pressed the purple Go Live! Button on my screen, “I also want them to see Me, Niki and Iris’s hotness in our blazers”

“this camera quality is Poggers” I nodded as a confused chat started to arrive,

'Oxtamzinxo: women in suits? <3'

1800SADBOYHOURS: IS SHE STREAMING IN THE STREET?

DARTHMANDO: wtf is going on-

caught_u_simping: TECHNO CONTENT?

“chat—look at tommy’s swaggy fit he’s too insecure about it hype him up” I held the phone out to tommy, motioning for him to take it.

“chat I swear if I see A SINGLE screenshot of this im going to actually stop streaming for eternity”

“no you won’t” I said simply.

“yeah I won’t—but If any of you lot make fun of me”

“I said for chat to hype you up not bully you” I pointed out, “I really wanna eat some snow” I looked around at the slowly falling flakes around us.

“take a sip of this then down some ice” Schlatt handed me a bottle,

“can I trust you that you’re not drugging me” I eyed the bottle of alcohol skeptically,

“big bro Schlatt wouldn’t drug you” he ruffled my hair slightly,